When the service is this good there’s no saying “no more.” Email and texting are much less personal ways to connect. The chances of your personal handwritten note or letter going viral are slim to none. As email and other forms of electronic diversion increases so does the exponential amount of spam and meaningless digital correspondence. You say the Internet is faster, cheaper, easier, is it really? Turn off your electronic devices for a moment, oh wait! The power outage has done that for you. Excuse me a minute while I run out to get some antivirus software. Why isn’t my service provider fixing my bad connection? You’re going to charge me how much for a computer repair? I’ll have to be outsourced to where for technical support? What email is really doing is increasing the value of handwritten communication. I’d rather get a letter signed by the President of the United States than an email from his office.
No need to fear, the backbone of e-commerce and everyday delivery is here. Let me take you off the beaten path to every community in “the mail moment” where we will drop off some pharmaceuticals and a little literature, and then we will head over to a processing and distribution center for a 24/7/365 operation. Our retail counter offers the best value on everything. Got an entrepreneurial spirit? Don’t worry our service is confidential, hack-proof, and the only public option designed to be an economic engine geared for binding the nation across households and industries through the test of time.
We’ll gladly pick up and deliver a universal service to places when, where, and under arduous conditions that no other competitor would dare do all the way to the last mile. You can stand in line to exercise your right to vote, or you can select the freedom of an affordable option by dropping your ballot in our mail stream and spend the rest of your day watching the election returns through your communication medium. Some call their delivery junk mail, the neighbor calls it a goldmine, advertisers call it marketing, and the recycler calls it job security. To each his own, so stop hating.
On Capitol Hill our elected officials got more bills about this… than a cash register. Problem is the gatekeepers of the USPS can’t come up with the combined change necessary to keep this national treasure viable for another 237 years. To the 535-member union, please stand up straight, and work together so we can’t ride your case this election year. Now is the time to begin the conversation of mutual cooperation to solve the postal crisis. We need your assistance doing the greatest good for the greatest number before our agency becomes an administrative mass casualty.
In case you haven’t adjusted to the red white and blue argument burning on the back burner, I’m talking about one of the oldest, most reliable, and trusted services in the country. Here comes that supersonic blue Eagle swooping through your neighborhood simply to deliver satisfaction to the American public. Yeah baby, that’s right! It’s the United States Postal Service.
article submitted exclusively to PostalReporter.com by Ronald Williams, Jr.